Food for Thought

This past week I read something over at the Well Read Hostess that got me thinking. She talked about the “wonders” of technology. I can Skype my brother-in-law who lives in Amsterdam. I can download and share my wide array of music. OR I can take a picture of a perfect stranger and post it to the Internet for the sheer pleasure of belittling said person.

I’ve been thinking about that (the poor belittled woman whose image is being blasted over the interwebs unbeknownst to her) over the past few days and the more I think about it, the more it sickens me. I’ve been reading things too lately. Personal observations made by others. How quickly we are to judge.

Tall woman with big breasts, low cut shirt. “Look at that slut.”

Thin woman with skinny arms working out. “She must be anorexic.”

Overweight woman at the beach. “Lazy slob.”

When did we become a society of people that tears one another down rather than build each other up? Think about the one thing you don’t like about yourself. Say you think your nose is too big. Imagine every person who saw you made fun of you for it. Not liking you because of it. Inflating your insecurities. Not a great feeling, right? AND THAT is what we are doing each and every time we judge someone without knowing them.

I’ve got a small chest and wide hips (good breeding hips, my mom said). I’ve certainly been judged on my appearance and for my “flaws” although I certainly don’t see them that way. They are what make me me and I embrace them. I think if we spent more time embracing our own flaws maybe we wouldn’t spend so much time pointing out other people’s, which in fact aren’t flaws at all. There is no such thing as perfection. There is just you, me and everyone else. All unique and wonderful in our own ways.

Would the world be such a bad place if we were a little nicer to each other? I think back to my first Thirty at 30 post. I need to start working more random acts of kindness into my life. To counteract all the negativity. I’m going to need more post-it notes.

I’m stepping off my soap box and heading back into my kitchen. I just write a food blog. What do I know?

I leave you with this:

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

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  1. trish
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 11:52 am | Permalink

    Thanks for posting this Stacey. It is perfectly in line with my thoughts and my heart and a recent incident I had that hurt me very deeply. We all do need to spread more sunshine and stop hurting others to make ourselves feel better.

  2. Posted June 6, 2010 at 11:54 am | Permalink

    Excellent post Stacey! Now, if we can just get everyone else in this world to focus on trying a bit harder each and everyday to work towards being kinder to others. This really hits home for me, since people are so quick to judge me personally as they see Joseph acting out in his “ways”. Some make me out to be a terrible mother that cannot control her child, they do not take the time to stop and think that maybe there is more to it than meets the eye. They have NO idea that he cannot help it, his mind doesn’t work like eveyother 5 year old boy. People need to be kind, and don’t judge…everyone is fighting their own private battle!

  3. Posted June 6, 2010 at 4:42 pm | Permalink

    Nicely said, Stacey . . . my enjoyment over “People of Walmart” lasted exactly for the first page of the site – once I realized that it’s just “people making fun of other people”, well, I had to click away. Anybody who mentions that they like said site, well, it takes a lot for me to not discount the rest of what they say.

    One of the things I really enjoy about social media, however, is that it allows you to get to know people for who they are, absent of any of the bullshit of social standards. I can follow tweets, read blog postings, & know whether or not I’d like to be friends with you. Your sex, race, sexual orientation, hair color, body size, body type . . . none of it matters. You’re either coming across as “a person I could get along with” or “a person I’d rather not know”. And, once you fall into that first bucket, any of those physical descriptions mean absolute bubkus.

    Oh, and, just because I feel it must be said, even though it runs contrary to the whole point of the blog post – Stacey is an absolute hottie.

  4. Posted June 6, 2010 at 4:58 pm | Permalink

    Aw that really is a good post, you made some excellent points!

    It really is sad that people jusge others solely on appearance and it really isn’t fair.

  5. Posted June 6, 2010 at 5:02 pm | Permalink

    @Trish ~ I’m sorry to hear someone hurt you so badly. You are always a source of sunshine, so whoever would do that to you isn’t worth your time.

    @Tammy ~ You hit the nail on the head with “Everyone is fighting their own private battle.” I know for a fact you are a wonderful mother.

    @John ~ I have mentioned to you before how much I’ve loved seeing you embrace social media (especially with some of my favorites on Twitter). And as someone I’ve known IRL for a long time, I appreciate the hottie compliment, even if it had no bearing on the subject at hand.

    @Mr C ~ That truly means a lot coming from you, Mr. Condescending. ;)

  6. Nichole
    Posted June 8, 2010 at 11:19 am | Permalink

    Hmm, I know personally I have to work on being nicer to mySELF! lol. I told Lindsay about this – saw someone in the same Flyers shirt as me, but she’s thin and fit and obviously takes good care of herself. I’m pregnant and sticking out. For a moment or two (or three…) I felt really huge! I had to remind myself that I’m pregnant. Also there’s this new trend of lots of pressure for preggos to not gain a lot of weight and I’ve felt that too. When I read someone who’s at the same week as me (or less).. who has gained much less weight, I judge myself, and try to think of what I should change, even though I’m right where I should be. It’s a crazy, image-driven world.

  7. Posted June 8, 2010 at 11:50 am | Permalink

    @Nichole ~ You worked really hard pre-preggers to get in shape. You should be proud of yourself. And now? You’ve got that beautiful pregnancy glow. Don’t sell yourself short.

  8. Posted June 8, 2010 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

    I have seen the blogs that post photos of people in their worst secret moments. Or worse . . . in their best public moments. Seen these photos of regular people doing the best they can put up for ridicule.

    And I have read the hilarity and the judgment in the readers’ comments.

    And then I have left, leaving no comment, but thinking less of that blogger and those readers.

    Thank you for saying here what I should always be saying . . . Play nicely.

    Cruelty is not funny. Not ever.

  9. Posted June 8, 2010 at 3:50 pm | Permalink

    @Kris – I very often say “Play nicely in the sandbox.” Thank you for your honest comment.

  10. Posted June 14, 2010 at 11:00 pm | Permalink

    Hi Stacey
    I think that most people, whether they acknowledge or realize it, make assumptions about people based on their appearance–sometimes quickly and without thinking too much about it.
    Having said that, I don’t think it’s necessary or appropriate to be hurtful. I don’t call people names or sling mud. And I don’t tarnish reputations along the way. I don’t think I’m perfect and I’ve been told horrible things I believed to be true about myself.
    The internet is a safe place to be who you want others to think you are.

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